Hi beauties! It’s been such a long time since I wrote anything, and I’ll explain why in this post.
As you may know, we’ve been planning for our upcoming wedding. It’s been a long and costly road but the day is quickly approaching! At this time we’re just finalizing details and paying off vendors, which means the pressure is ON. Still, nothing could have prepared us for the surprise news we received back in mid September of 2018.
Now what could be so big that it stopped me from writing? Well, we found out we are expecting. At first, I was elated, I mean I’ve wanted to be a mom for so long! But then, once the news started to sink in, I became frightened and to be honest a bit disappointed. I had just started a job that I love, I’m still planning a wedding and to top it off, I’d be close to 7 months pregnant during my wedding. I was overwhelmed with how I would break the news to my boss, how would this affect my career, and my wedding. To further top it off, I had to stop my anti-anxiety medication, and deal with the withdrawal. (Please, please make sure you wean off any medication, and listen to your practitioner if you’re ever in this situation. I went about this completely wrong and believe me, while my baby is doing great (thankfully) I suffered greatly). I spent the entire first trimester in emotional hell while dealing with slight food aversions and working full time. My skin had broken out terribly due to the hormones and there was just no end to this turmoil in sight.
Then… we finally started sharing the news. We told our friends, family and our employers. Seeing everyone’s reaction definitely helped me feel a bit better about my situation. I started to go from feeling like I had let everyone down (as if I were a teenager in trouble) to actually getting excited once more about the life I was creating. My job, which I feared would be negatively impacted by this news, has been wildly supportive. I thank my lucky stars to be working for such a wonderful company, surrounded by people who actually encourage women taking it all on.
Now– we’re a month and a half into the second trimester and I finally feel really good! We know we are expecting a little girl (which is a dream come true for me) and I feel her move around daily. Some days she moves a lot more than others, and I have to say, everyone is right, it is the most magical feeling in the world. Both baby and I are doing well, wedding is still very very much on, and my fiance and I are basking in the joy of all the blessings that surround us. He is super excited about becoming a dad, and I know that he’ll be an exceptional father. The amount of handholding and support I’ve received from him has been amazing, and while, yes he is lucky to have me, I’m the one who feels like I’ve hit the jackpot to have such a great guy by my side.
I know this is lengthy but, it’s wildly important to me to explain why I’ve been MIA. I felt so many negative emotions during a time that society says should be filled with joy. I stopped doing my makeup, I barely did my hair, I felt uninspired, stressed and depressed. I couldn’t bring myself to write about anything– I was basically just going through the motions of life. Don’t get me wrong, I took all the steps necessary to make sure my baby was well taken care of. I took my vitamins daily, I stopped drinking coffee for a few months (migraines drove me back to one 12oz cup every so often as okayed by my OB/GYN), I used non medicated skincare items and I increased my water intake. But, these were just motions to me.
Now, that I’m feeling much better, I’ve been able to bond with my baby girl so much and I’ve become more energetic and positive. The negativity has faded; I have successfully been off my medication for 3 months and I feel great. My skin is clear and I feel inspired to create more looks and review more products. I feel less clouded and better able to write.
Motherhood is something I’ve always wanted, but I do admire all women. Those who choose to become mothers and those who don’t. We are all amazing beings either way and it is amazing what we are capable of achieving. For those who do choose to become moms, just know that it’s ok if you don’t feel happy all the time. It’s normal to feel down, and unhappy during pregnancy. You’re body is going through immense changes and it is a LOT to handle! My advice is to open up, talk to your physician, talk to your loved ones and seek the support. For me, once I had a network of people to speak to, I began to get better.
Now, with all of this being said, I’m happy to say that I am back! My next post will be on what my skincare routine looks like now. Being pregnant, you are restricted from applying certain things onto your skin as it can be absorbed through your pores, but again, more on that later.
I hope that you are all well, and that this year brings joy to us all!
Until next post belles! ♥♥♥